After working a shift, industry folk have an air about them. It’s hard to put into words, but it’s almost equal parts: I’m so glad that shit is over, I’m tired, I need to unwind, don’t talk to me. There’s also a touch of “That was a good night.” If you’ve worked in the industry, you’ll pick up on that vibe instantly.
Over and over and over, I’ve walked into a bar, sat down, placed my order, and gotten a nod followed by a “Where do you work, my man?” It’s kind of like the motorcycle wave; You’re probably completely unfamiliar unless you belong to the culture.
the ritual
Unprompted, 20% of the time the bartender will either show up with or ask if I want a shot of fernet. The answer is always yes. A shot of fernet is ubiquitous to this industry. That’s the bartender’s handshake. 90% of the time the bartender will do a shot of fernet with me. Almost always the shot is on the house, unless consumption is extreme… The most I’ve been charged was $15 for 8 shots of fernet I was grabbing for co-workers.
It’s kind of an unspoken rule. Industry peer asks for a shot of fernet, you do it with them. A tiny gesture of solidarity. It’s something that holds a lot of meaning for me. In a way I think the bartender’s handshake is kind of an analogy for the dichotomous way the hospitality-worker’s brain functions.
I’ll say this before I go on; I like fernet. Now. Kinda. I’m still not sure how I feel about it superficially. It’s an amaro (Italian for ‘bitter’), and though it has some sugar to balance the flavors, it is aggressively bitter, herbal, chlorophyll-vegetative and minty. The color is black (like our souls) and it’s syrupy thick. Sounds awesome, right?
If I do a shot of fernet, it’s specifically after a shift. I have never touched the stuff in any other context. To that end, I feel like it helps center myself after a long night and that tiny gesture of bonding with someone still on the clock makes me feel like I’m not alone. Cheesy, sure, but 100% sincere.
I’m not convinced anyone completely enjoys fernet on its own, in a vacuum. It almost feels like a punishment, simultaneous to the relief. I’ll come back to this topic after a short digression.
I was in an unfamiliar bar recently after a shift looking to get a drink before heading home (one and done). It was probably 1am? Maybe 1:30? The bartender looked like he was having a rough time and I said “Hey man, you still serving?” He looked me up and down and said “Yeah bud, I’ll getcha one.” While he was making my drink I noticed that every single one of the patrons was absolutely haaammered and being complete jackasses about it. People arguing about their $120 tabs, arguing about which beer they ordered, etc etc.
When I had one more sip left in my drink I asked him what time they closed that night. He told me they were supposed to close two hours ago. I said “shit, dude, can I buy you a shot of fernet?” (Never assume the shot is free or that their shot is free. Their owner might be a hardass. Be polite.) He said “Fuck yes.” After the shot I dropped him some cash and said “Hey man, sorry about your night” to which he replied “What are you talking about, it’s been super busy! It’s a great night!” This coming from a bartender that just had four arguments about tabs and was aggressively swiping credit cards and telling guests “Dude, I’m done with you. Done. Come back in a week.”
That intense duality is, I think, very specific to the industry. “I love my customers, but fuck those guys forever.” We’re super busy and making money, but I haven’t eaten in 10 hours and I haven’t had a chance to pee in 4. I want to make all my customers happy, but they’re shitfaced and yelling at me. Fuck ’em.
hospitality is a state of mind
I have a pathological need to please all of my customers. Sometimes it bothers me for weeks if I have a negative interaction with a customer. I want them all to have a great time wherever I’m working and I want them to get home safely and have a wonderful life. Sincerely. Simultaneously, after a busy shift, I don’t want to have a conversation with another human for the rest of the night. I want to sit in the corner of the bar, look at stupid stuff on my phone, have a drink and a shot and be left alone until I leave.
That’s why, in a way, a shot of fernet so perfectly encapsulates the hospitality field. It’s soothing, it’s comforting, it’s social, but in a way it’s still slightly painful and ugly and almost a punishment. It’s the perfect way to try and unwind because it’s still exactly what the bartender mind is like.
“I love you all, but still kinda fuck you.”